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Abroad Again

There was a time when I'd lived more of my life outside the United States than inside it. That is sadly no longer true. In fact, I haven't been abroad since 2009, so I've been itching to go back for a while now. I finally got my act together and took a whirlwind trip through the Boot.

I visited Venice.

I didn't hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

I stayed in the most charming little coastal Italian town.

I appreciated David's other side.

I took a picture of the Colosseum.

I ate gelato. Lots and lots of gelato.

And I went to all these places with this girl. She's a reporter who makes for a pretty awesome travel companion and girlfriend.

My takeaway from this trip: I'm never going five years again without leaving this country.

Thought I Found The Perfect Card For My Mom...

Bring Me All The Bacon You Have

How I Deal With Roommate Conflict

The City Search

I recently moved to San Francisco for my job after nearly two years in Salt Lake. This is a brief foray into my apartment search in the city where rent is three times higher than the national average.

I didn't have any leads...

But why worry? I was out of my parents' basement at last!

Pretty much the only way to find housing here is to peruse Craigslist. Every day for three weeks straight, I scoured the classifieds relentlessly. 100 sent emails and several open houses later, I was still homeless.

Here are a few choice postings I stumbled upon during my search.

Best Headlines

OPEN MINDED STRAIGHT DUDE LOOKING FOR A CHILL ROOMMATE

I guess the guy didn't get any bites with that one, so a week later he upped the ante.

Are you a VERY open minded, dominant str8 guy, in need of a place soon (SF)

Best Descriptions

• One of the current roommates is a Rastafarian with possible terrorist connections. A curse has been placed on both of those rooms to preclude anyone from renting them. If you inhabit either dwelling unit, great harm will befall you.

• Then there is me David. I am the geek of the group. Best way to describe me would be if Toby Ziggler from the West Wing and Yoda (if he was a woman) had a love-child and was raised on watching old Robin Williams stand up.

• If you'd like to live in an off-campus dorm room with a bunch of other fun guys in their 20s (and the "house bunny") for just $400 a month (includes everything) then put on your best pair of tightey-whiteys, bikini briefs, or g-string and try-out for our wet underpants contest! Winner gets an affordable place to stay and a bunch of new friends! (Runner-ups may get dates)

Best Overall Package

Thankfully, I finally found a place and didn't even have to put on my best pair of tightey-whiteys.

Also, one of my roommates may be living in my walk-in closet. San Francisco!

Pregnancy Scare

Five years later, this April Fool's joke from my sister remains as cruel (and eerily convincing) as ever. 

Can't. Stop. Watching.

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I'm assuming this is going to be solved soon, but I just want to be able to look back on this post and remember how insane it was that in 2014

ONE OF THE BIGGEST PLANES EVER MADE VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE FOR 10 DAYS
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Twenty Thirteen

My Favorite Songs

Autre Ne Veut – Play By Play
CHVRCHES – The Mother We Share
Daft Punk – Get Lucky
Disclosure – White Noise

Fall Out Boy – My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)

The Front Bottoms – Au Revoir (Adios)

Kacey Musgraves – Follow Your Arrow
Kanye West – Black Skinhead

The Killers – Shot At The Night

Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball
Pixies – Bagboy

St. Lucia – Elevate

Surfer Blood – Weird Shapes

Vampire Weekend – Diane Young

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Sacrilege

My Favorite Albums

EP) The Colourist - Lido
10) Balance & Composure - The Things We Think We're Missing
9) Arctic Monkeys - AM
8) Portugal. The Man - Evil Friends
7) Saves The Day - Saves The Day
6) Sky Ferreira - Night Time, My Time
5) CHVRCHES - The Bones of What You Believe
4) Vampire Weekend - Modern Vampires of the City
3) Fall Out Boy - Save Rock and Roll
2) The 1975 - The 1975
1) Tegan & Sara - Heartthrob

I've "known" these Canadian twins for over a decade now. When you know someone that long, it's increasingly rare they still have the ability to surprise you. Yet that's what this fantastic band did with Heartthrob, their seventh and best album. The application of pop gloss not only added a new dimension to their sound, but invigorated their careers (hello singing on stage with Taylor Swift). Amid the arrival of shiny synths and drum machines, however, the duo's devastating lyrics remained ("Now I'm all messed up, sick inside wondering who, whose life you're making worthwhile"). All that's left to conquer is SNL.

My Favorite Movies

Gravity - This should never be released on DVD and only shown in theaters.

Nebraska - Bruce Dern has been getting all the attention, but the real star here is June Squibb, the opinionated mother hen who doesn't mince words. See this movie for nothing more than to see what she does at a cemetery.

Mud - The best child actors to grace the silver screen in recent memory.

Her - I really enjoyed Spike Jonze's take on the future, from foul-mouthed video game characters to outsourcing handwritten letters to actually calling your operating system your girlfriend. Also loved this line: "Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt."

Frances Ha - My favorite movie of 2013 tapped into the am-I-really-ready-for-real-life-and considered-an-adult-now part of life in your 20s, exploring everything from being "undateable" to the isolation that creeps in from "losing" your friends to significant others/marriage.

My Favorite Book

So dark, so twisted, so good. Zigs where you think it will zag. Read it before the David Fincher-directed and Ben Affleck-starring movie comes out in the fall. (Yes, this came out in 2012, but I missed it.)

My Favorite TV Show

The answer here is Breaking Bad, but for something less notorious but equally enjoyable, no show made me laugh more than Nathan For You. It's a simple premise - a very nice Canadian goes to various small businesses and proposes insane ideas that the owners reluctantly accept. Without fail, it's funny every time (as you can see below).

My Favorite Video

You can't beat Russians singing "Get Lucky", but a Chatroulette parody of "Wrecking Ball" comes close.