Beats the Ensign

A photo posted by Adam Gregory (@theadamgregory) on Oct 3, 2015 at 8:25pm PDT

My Grandpa Is Cooler Than Yours

Texts from Mom

Instagram Insanity

My sisters are obsessed with Instagram. It consumes their lives like nothing else. Here's the typical process they go about to get a worthy photo:

Deliberate over what to wear

V

Pick an outfit

V

Find a photogenic spot

V

Take a few shots in various poses, rarely looking at the camera 

V

Huddle around the phone to check the pics and say things like, "Why didn't you tell me I was slouching?"

V

Take more shots with better posture/different poses

V

Huddle around the phone again and say things like, "Ugh, no delete that one."

V

Rinse

V

Repeat

After the shoot, they'll then go through the dozens of photos, select a few, run them through all the filters, compare the finished products, ask multiple people advice on which one to choose, pick one and come up with a "bomb" caption. Following this multi-hour process, it is finally posted, whereupon their followers look at it in their feed for two seconds and scroll to the next one.

The part from which I get the most satisfaction is the sister who puts obsessive amounts of care into her Instagram gets 1/3 of the social validation (i.e. likes) that the other sister does. (I've heard her say multiple variations of "I've only gotten 10 likes in the last 5 minutes. Do you think I should take it down?")

Anyway, I finally decided to document this inane experience. I showed this video to them hoping they'd realize this is the behavior of sociopaths, only to have them think it was "so cool." Here's to hoping you side with me.

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Twenty Fourteen

My Favorite Songs

5 Seconds of Summer - She Looks So Perfect
Ariana Grande (feat. The Weeknd) - Love Me Harder
Bleachers - I Wanna Get Better
Joywave - Tongues
Future Islands - Seasons (Waiting On You)
Jenny Lewis - Just One of the Guys
Joyce Manor - Schley
Nick Jonas - Jealous
One Direction - Fireproof
Parquet Courts - Black and White
Perfume Genius - Queen
Robyn - Do It Again
Sam Smith - Like I Can
Taylor Swift - Blank Space
The War on Drugs - Red Eyes

My Favorite Albums

Magic Man - Beneath The Waves

Future Islands - Singles

Jenny Lewis - The Voyager

Manchester Orchestra - Cope

Ex Hex - Rips

Taylor Swift - 1989

Parquet Courts - Sunbathing Animal

Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues

Bleachers - Strange Desire

The War on Drugs - Lost in the Dream

Lost in the Dream is a record that I learned to love on the road. I purchased it on compact disc (yep, still around) and discovered it was the perfect companion for my road trips up and down the Northern California coast. Out there, on winding highways with endless views, this collective hour of songs had room to breathe and take root. It's not only a soundtrack for celebration (the distorted yell in "Red Eyes"), but also contemplation ("Love's the key to the games that we play/but don't mind losing" from the title track). Wherever my destination, this album is destined to accompany that journey.

My Favorite Movies

Edge of Tomorrow - It feels weird to tell people to go to see a Tom Cruise movie, but this was severely under-appreciated. You wouldn't think the futuristic action version of Groundhog Day had a chance of being good, but it takes a page from that movie by being both highly entertaining and funny.

Citizenfour - This documentary provides a rare backstage pass into history being made. With such special access, I felt like I was spying on Snowden as he revealed how our government was in fact doing that to us.

Wild - While this movie convinced me my soul-seeking pilgrimage won't be on the Pacific Crest Trail (I can't lose toenails), it did beautifully portray a literal and metaphorical journey into and out of the wilderness.

Boyhood - Quiet, patient movies like this don't get made anymore, which explains why this started shooting 12 years ago. Watching a child gradually turn into a young adult naturally recalls your own development, but what really stuck with me was Linklater's ability to capture the small, insignificant moments that make up life, like moving and never seeing a childhood friend again. That, and this song.

Whiplash - I'm not quite sure how a film set in a music conservatory winded up being the most nail-biting thrill ride of this year, but it's a testament to the impeccable direction and performances of J.K. Simmons and Miles Teller. This is a relentless, punishing and completely engrossing film all the way up to its perfect ending.

Dating

2015 Hairstyle Goal

When TV networks run out of ideas

Shit My Sister Says on FaceTime

"I'm thinking of joining Match.com. I realize I'm knitting as I say that."

Um...no

E

Kicked off the New Year by running out of gas and blocking traffic in an intersection. So ready for you, 2015.