Samson No More

Hell Fire Rained Down On My House!

I just got my first speeding ticket today. Pretty remarkable considering I've been driving for six years and have male hormones that constantly urge me to push it to the limit.

What I wanted to do/say to the cop:

Bryan Cranston ladies and gentlemen! That's how you win an Emmy. 

What I actually did:

Remained quiet and forlorn, which ended up getting him to knock it down from 16 over to 5. That or he thought I was a chick and didn't mind my AA cup.

Mor(m)ons

My least favorite part of Mormon culture (2nd least favorite - the strange obsession with The Emperor's New Groove - it was the 4th most popular movie among BYU students on Facebook! Ahead of Aladdin, ahead of Toy Story, ahead of all superior Disney/Pixar movies. Completely undeserved - a peculiar people indeed) is the invention of ridiculous games that could only possibly be thought up from the lack of time spent drinking, having sex, and general debauchery.

Text I received last night: 

Hey just a reminder of FHE tonight at 6:30. We'll be playing water kickball and then having a marshmallow gun fight!

Kill me now.

I Am My Hair

I originally grew my hair out because of this

but in reality I would settle for this

but instead I've ended up looking like this

That arm around me is a female's...but it's my sister.

I've been growing my hair out for a year and three months now, waiting for the day when it's going to finally look at least as half as good as those pictures above. I'm still waiting. And the longer I wait, the more prone I am to cut it off. Which would make it feel like the last 15 months were a waste of headspace.

Today, however, a female told me she loved my hair...and it wasn't my sister. So as long as that keeps happening...