The Russian word for acne is ugri (with emphasis on the i). Russian has a few words like this, where the Russian captures the essence of the thing it's describing much better than English - Exhibit B: kakashka (poop). I have always found the English term to be lacking in conveying the grossness that is acne - I mean ugri is not only fun to say, but it sounds gross. "Acne" just doesn't cut it. I mean, it's growths on your face filled with white puss and blood inside. It's gross.
For something so gross, however, I like acne. These growths have been a part of my face since high school (and in the past year, a part of my back). I, for some reason, am not repulsed by it on me or even on others (acne almost makes a girl more endearing to me). I blame my mom who would grant favors in exchange for a few blackheads on my nose. In my opinion - a few minutes of pain + a red nose > doing the dishes. Eventually, I picked up on her technique and began popping my own zits (now there's a good word...that, and pimple...blemish I'm not so hot about). Before I knew it, I had discovered a before-bed ritual that I actually liked doing.
I don't know what it is, but I'm almost disappointed if I look into the mirror at night and don't see a whitehead or a blackhead calling my name. I think it stems from the fact that I like closure - I'll watch a TV show I like until its last episode//I never leave baseball games early//etc. Popping pimples makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something - the whitehead is on my face, the whitehead is now on my mirror. Story over. Mission accomplished. Finito.
Anyways, the point of this post was to bring awareness to those who may not like acne as much as I do that I have discovered the best acne-fighting treatment - a towel. That's right, you just wrap a freshly washed towel around your pillow and sleep on it. Think about it. Your pillow is saturated with the grease of your hair, which in turn greases up your face. So a clean surface = less acne. Thankfully I still get enough to keep me entertained at night, but not so much that people make eye contact with my third eye instead of my two eyes.
Now, if anyone has any tips for curing backne/bacne, I am open to suggestions.
I don't know if this is necessarily a cure, but if you grow a really thick mane of back hair people will be too busy wondering if the back shag carpet is natural or if you had to kill and skin small rodents to acquire it. Another bonus, if you're ever stranded on a desert island you can use your hair to lash together a couple of sea turtles and gain your freedom. I feel like its a good solution all around.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Nick I know exactly what you mean!!! I feel like burning my face off half the time! haha :)
ReplyDeleteNothing I've tried has worked so far... but I think Chris swears by getting as much sun as possible & it clears up. If you find something that works for you pass it along!
If you washed your sheets more than once a semester you wouldn't have a greasy pillowcase. I'm just saying. Cole is a bad son. He has at least 10 good blackheads on his chin and won't let me near them.
ReplyDeleteNick, you are your mothers son. Seriously that post just grossed me out, but Jake on the other hand would squeeze any zit on my body/face happily. He get excited about the amount of stuff that can come out. You are hilarious.
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