Doggy-Style

Today I wanted to take Lily to a dog park where I could let her roam around unleashed with other dogs and I could read Olive Kitteridge outside (it's for class OK...but I'm secretly enjoying it Oprah recommendation and all). I was looking up places, and found a good one within walking distance, but noticed on the comments people complained about owners letting their dogs hump other dogs and laughing about it. These people were very angry, and being the person I am (one who does not like to cause controversy) I kept that in mind when I arrived in the park.

Lily and I arrived to find the park empty, so I sat down and started reading while Lily did dog stuff. Shortly thereafter, two women with their dog came into the park and we struck up a conversation. My gay-dar, usually very poor, picked up that they were lesbians so I made sure to say I was from San Francisco not Utah, that I lived in Russia, not was a Mormon missionary there. Things were going flawlessly. I even didn't mess up guys with gays like I have been prone to do - "So where do you gays...guys live?"

But then Lily mounted Kishka, their dog. And she started humping her. I immediately got up and scolded Lily. Crisis and negative review on Yelp! averted.

But then she did it again. I got up again and pulled her off and then said, "Lily, you can't do that. You're a girl!"

And then it went silent.

Shortly thereafter, they left.